JOY: How to Stay Focused & Committed to What Your Heart Truly Desires
It seems like everywhere we turn, there is another indicator of tough times ahead. The state of the world, climate change, political polarization, and unknowns in our personal and professional lives; all of these things can feel overwhelming. The good news (yes, there IS good news!) is that these times of change and transition give us an opportunity to focus on what we love and what our heart truly desires. And when we do that, we can let go of the rest!
Tough times can illuminate more clearly the things that bring us joy. It brings into stark relief the things we are excited about as well as the things that leave us drained and uninspired.
Focusing on Joy
How can we experience and share more joy in the world, even during hard times?
One thing that works best for me is to focus my attention on what I LOVE and what my heart truly desires. When I do this, the other things seem less catastrophic and more just part of life. One example is tending to my garden. When I take time to take care of flowers, veggies, and weeds, I delight in the power and flow of life and it resets my perspective and clears my head and heart.
When I can see the power and beauty of life in my garden it becomes easier to see the power and beauty in all areas of my life.
This has been a profound realization for me. I find that when I focus my attention and energy in one direction - on what I love and what brings me joy - I am able to feel experience and share more love and joy!
Saying No
If we choose what we really LOVE and what is supremely JOYFUL to us, it means that we also must say NO to the things that don’t fit those descriptions—which can be difficult.
It is likely that many of us have long been saying yes to things we don’t love or don’t invoke joy. Often we do those things because they make other people comfortable (our families/colleagues/friends).
One example is eating food that makes you feel AMAZING! If everyone at work eats fried chicken for lunch and you bring a delightfully fresh salad, choosing to eat the salad when everyone else is chowing down on fried chicken could be very difficult. Instead, you may opt for fried chicken and then wonder why you feel grumpy and sleepy during the afternoon and evening.
Another example is turning down a social invitation. If every month you do brunch with friends, but one month you feel tired, overworked, stressed, have too many commitments and really you need to indulge in rest or nature, saying no could also be difficult and you may find yourself going to brunch anyways.
Sometimes the hardest times to say no can be when we have to be honest with ourselves about what really makes us happy.
How do we cultivate the courage to say no?
It all comes down to listening to our hearts. When we start to listen, we may find that what we desire actually looks and feels different from the images and ideals with which we are most familiar (the “ideal” house/car/bank account/family/career/lifestyle). It can take a great deal of self-reflection, reprogramming, and courage to let go of those ideals. Be gentle with yourself. When you choose your own heart’s desire you will feel alive, driven, and rewarded from the inside out.
Identifying Your Joy
Transitions in life and challenges in the world provide a unique opportunity to allow ourselves to turn in and listen to what our hearts truly desire.
But when there is so much noise in the world/our personal lives, how can we truly identify what brings us joy?
Think of a time when you did something that made your HEART SING. When was a time in your life when you thought (without hesitation), "I want THAT!"? It didn’t come from a place of greed or jealousy or lack, but rather a place of desire.
Now take a few breaths and remember what that felt like in your body. What are the physical sensations you had in that moment of pure desire? Was it tightness in your chest, lightness in your limbs, warm, cold, tingly, prickly, butterflies in your stomach, butterflies in your head, pressure in your chest, lightness in your whole body?
Now you know what DESIRE feels like in your body. Remember it so that when you feel those same emotions and sensations you can identify as desire.
Develop this as a regular practice so you get to know your own desire well.
My message to you is this: your life is meant to be joyful and delightful. The more we focus on joy, the more we actually choose it (people/activities/organizations that are joyful) and the more we create and share for others, too.